Do me a goddamned favor.

Don’t bitch about children unless you have them.

I bred because I wanted to, and it doesn’t have to do with children. It has to do with sharing unconditional love with another human being, taking responsibility, and having the confidence to take that responsiblity for more than one life form.

This seems to be an increasing tendency of late, that everyone and their dog has to bitch about “little rug-rats, messy, slimy, stinky things.” Guess what, fucker? You were one once. And you shit in your diaper, and SOMEONE changed that diaper. A lot. Someone fed you and took care of you and kept you warm and took you to the doctor and whatnot. That’s why you’re still here – someone loved you enough to make sure you survived.

Quite frequently, I hear, “Oh, but your kids are different. They’re well-behaved and so smart…” And they got that way…. how? Oh, yeah. I carried each of them for nine months (except Joseph – he was a ten-monther), delivered them (naturally), and took care of them, raised them. I raised them with respect and honesty and compassion, and I treat them like humans.

All I really hear when people bitch about how much they hate children is how much they really hate or are angry with their parents. They don’t like the way THEY were raised, and they also have such incredibly low confidence in themselves that they somehow don’t believe they can overcome the mistakes of the previous generation.

NEWSFLASH: You’re not going to feel the same way about your own child as you do about someone else’s. Just because you don’t like SOMEONE ELSE’S offspring (and limit your exposure anyway because, hey, who knows, you might run into more than one that you like) doesn’t mean you’re not going to be madly and deeply and passionately in love with your own.

The more frustrating part of it is that most of the people who HAVE this attitude are SMART people. They’re intelligent and beautiful and funny and talented… and they’re going to let the planet get overrun with STUPID people because they think kids are stinky?!? Stupid people seem to be the only ones breeding because the majority of the smart people seem to be too goddamned selfish and insecure.


Dawn Written by:


  1. November 8, 2005

           I feel perfectly justified in bitching about children (when I do) because I have more contact time with other people’s children than many of their own parents do (I don’t count sleep-time, although for some of them, I still have more time with these kids even if you include sleep-time). Sometimes I see these children at their absolute worst because I’m not their parent and they feel like they don’t have to listen to or respect me. I have a great deal of respect for parents who actually and actively behave like parents where their children are concerned, but at least for the children I see, the vast majority of their parents do not behave like parents with their children. At best, they behave like nannies, watching the kids and making sure that they have food and clothing, but that’s about it. After that, they do not lead their children to know and appreciate morals, values, right from wrong, how to respect their elders and each other, how to earn respect from others… There are a multitude of things that many parents just do not teach their children (whether it’s because they don’t have the time or don’t know for themselves or whatever…), and it falls to people like me to either reinforce issues that these children are deficient in, or to teach it to them outright.

           Yeah, I think I have good reason to bitch about kids every now and again.

    • November 8, 2005

      That’s different than not wanting and hating children because you don’t like other peoples…

  2. November 8, 2005

    I suppose I’m not exactly a target of this rant, since I don’t bitch about children, even though I don’t much like them (yes, yours included, though Lili and Miles are more tolerable than most). But do you really think that people who are more intelligent/talented/whatever have some kind of obligation to reproduce, even if they don’t particularly want to, just to try to keep the stupid people from overrunning the world? Cause if the stupid are outbreeding the rest of us, well, that’s Darwin in action right there, as far as I can tell. I certainly don’t like it, but if they’re so much more reproductively successful, maybe it’s a phase we need to go through as a species on our way to wherever it is we’re going.

    Ugh, there’s an unpleasant thought.

    • November 9, 2005

      It’s the seeming “righteous indignation” at the idea of the “smart” breeding that pisses me off, as though having children somehow makes one less interesting, or less desirable, or less fun to hang out with, or less worthy in some way or another.

      I don’t care if it’s your (collectively) choice to not have children. Don’t bitch about how awful they are, and especially not around me.

      And then there’s the little issue I mention below.

  3. November 8, 2005

    Strong correlation between level of education and breeding, the more of one, the less of the other. I almost think that this society’s method of teaching for the most part is “You are all inadequate, and here’s why…” as opposed to “Here’s what you should learn.” At least, that’s what college seems like. The professors treat you like you should already know all the material, and if you don’t, it’s only your fault.

  4. November 8, 2005

    Counter-ranting! Woo! Jae remains neutral on the subject of children. 😀

  5. November 8, 2005

    I’m sorry the people who were supposed to interview you were complete dickwads because you had kids. Screw ’em! *hugs*

  6. November 9, 2005

    And, yes, as Shannon pointed out (and I didn’t have time to go into earlier), I got hung up on when I was inquiring about a job that was at first, “a perfect fit”. No, not the tattoo apprenticeship – this was a part-time job, allegedly just in the mornings, to pay me while I was apprenticing. I mentioned that I felt the schedule was right for me so that I could be here for the kids, and the lady turned cold and essentially hung up on me.

    It seems to be a theme of late, these people complaining about children when they don’t have any. Pete, you’re a different case, and you know it. I’ve been discriminated against for being a woman, for being young, for being white, for being pagan, but I never expected to suffer discrimination for having children.

    I can’t even begin to describe how fucked up and wrong that is. I’m not saying everyone needs to breed, but don’t fucking bitch about children when you have no experience as a parent.

  7. November 9, 2005

    Making the choice not to reproduce is a valid thing, and it’s a choice I’ve made as well.

    Being an arrogant ass about it is not. Just because you’ve made the choice doesn’t make you smarter than everyone else. When considering things like this I try to be upfront about where my strengths and weaknesses lie, and I’m at least man enough to admit that my decision not to sire children is due to my own inadequacy and not some superiority complex, which brings me to another point.

    A disturbing aspect of the whole xChIlDfReEx phenomenon is nerds who feel that children are impinging on their favorite properties (Harry Potter, various anime, etc.) when these properties were intended for kids in the first place — whose decision not to reproduce I applaud because being overdeveloped children themselves, they obviously lack the maturity and wherewithal to bring a kid into this world without screwing them up later in life. A 10-year-old beat you at Yu-Gi-Oh so now kids are loathsome to you. Boo hoo. Thanks for not pissing in the gene-pool. Such complaints about children often point to deficiencies in the person doing the complaining, not the targets of the complaints.

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