Sorry, not sorry

corporate-ladderThis is me shuffling things around a little bit more so that I can make room for my crazy awesome creativity processes.

Just for the record, the Normality Factor Publishing projects are not cancelled, they’re just moved to their own page for a bit while I continue to blog my little heart out.  Also, I draw gude.

Blah blah update blah blah blah…

I realize that I’m probably jinxing myself, but I’m pretty much giving up on the corporate world altogether.  I’d like to think that it’s because I have some sort of brilliant superior enlightened thing going on – and there is a part of me that is giddy as hell that I’m not directly supporting any number of bloody awful businesses shilling the public out of gods-know-what kind of health money stability future etc – but the real reason is, I am both over-qualified and under-qualified for any position out there, hands down.

I suppose I could try to squeeze myself back into the box, but the fact is, even working at a company that I adored (on principle, not so much in practice), I still suffered the nearly daily irritation of having to be complicit in attitudes and practices that I could not really ethically stand by.  Marketing, for instance, should not be solely devoted to convincing people that they need things that they don’t need.

“You have a need?  Awesome, we can answer that!” — AWESOME.

“Your life is incomplete without our cheaply-made and mostly-useless crap because FEAR MONEY FEAR!!!!” — Shitty.

But I don’t naturally fit into that box.  What astounds me is that when I looked around in that environment, no one fits in the box.  Every single person working on my level (and below, and at least one tier above) was not a box-fitter.  And of the higher ups, only about thirty percent of them were box-fitters, everyone else was just doing their best for their own reasons.

Why one the gods’ green earth do we glorify an economic lifestyle that, by its very nature, forces people to act against their own best interest?

(This is a rhetorical question.  I already know about history industrialism capitalism social etc.)

A weird part of me wants to fit in, or at least wants to know that I could fake it pretty well if I needed to, but the wiser part of me knows that that’s not really a thing.  It’s a lie that I think we were all raised with (at least in the 70s and 80s, and probably a good portion of the 90s) to believe that we could walk in both worlds without compromising ourselves.

The real “tragedy” here is not that I have a hard time fitting into that world.  (We already knew that.)  The problem is that I can’t “pass”, and therefore I am rejected by that world.

I know, I know, cry me a river… except that I really, really like having money of my own.  I like being able to buy treats, pay my bills, contribute significantly to my household, get things for people…

There’s nothing for it, then.  It’s self-employment again, and I might as well stick with what I’m good at and do the art…

If you want to support me (and I know you totally do), you’ll keep an eye on that aforementioned comic (it updates on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays), and if you like what you see, you can kick me a chip through Patreon (and/or tell your friends about it).  If you’re more an old-school type, be patient and I’ll be offering the collections of comics later on in book form, with added content and expanded commentary.

I love you guys, I really do.  Help a sista out.

Dawn Written by:

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