No coincidences, and nothing is free.

Last updated on February 17, 2021

So, I got a hold of Dr. Collins at the Pregnancy Institute about his Perinatal Umbilical Cord Project, the one where he actually starts drawing the lines of commonality and correlation between risk factors and umbilical cord accidents (the main ones being low blood pressure and a history of cord pathologies). He’s totally interested in including me in the study, which would involve getting a special monitor from him and wearing it every night when I sleep. Every morning, all of the data would be emailed to my midwife, and if Daniel started showing signs of distress, we’d have to high-tail it the hospital for an induction.

This is very awesome and wonderful and amazing, except for the part where I have to go to New Orleans (Slidell, actually) and see Dr. Collins in person to get the torsion evaluation done – which is to say, a 3-D ultrasound that tracks the cord specifically and shows (ideally) the twist and position of it. This has to be done between 28 and 30 weeks, and because we lost Toby at 29 weeks, I am SO going as quickly as possible.

Problem 1: A ticket to New Orleans for the last week of September is not cheap.

Problem 2: Once I’m there, unless things work out unusually well, I’m going to need to rent a car to get around – also not cheap, but I’m hoping there’s a discount rate or something.

Problem 3: I really dislike staying in hotels, but I don’t know many people in that area, and the one I’ve known the longest is in the dorms at Tulane. I have to talk to the Doc about this because I don’t know if I’m going to be checked into a hospital or if it’s going to be outpatient stuff or what.

Problem 4 (solved): What happens with the kids while I’m gone? I’ll be there for only a day, but with travel times, it could equal three days, give or take. (I still have to check on that.) The good news: Crystal is moving back here to Cheyenne, and she’d be willing to come out early to watch the children while I’m gone.

Problem 5: I get to go to a sweaty, humid, hot city while 7 months pregnant, while limping in pain.

Problem 6: New Orleans, as a concept, makes me massively uncomfortable. It always has. I don’t know why. I don’t think I have any relatives there anymore, but still…

This is the best chance and the highest hope we have of Daniel making it. I don’t feel like he’s doomed like I did with Toby – that things were going to go wrong and there was nothing we could do about it – but I do feel like he’s in danger. His movements are changing patterns, he’s not doing what is normal for this phase, and I just have this awful feeling that if we don’t do something soon, it won’t matter. Of course, even if something DID happen right now, it wouldn’t matter much anyway because the only “cure” is to induce labor, to get the baby out of there. At 23 weeks, he’s just not viable, and his chance of survival would actually decrease. I’m not okay with that.

Daniel is not Toby. He feels different, but I’m not sure how different, if that makes any sense. I only have this anxiety, this near-panic-level fear that’s pressing me on to find a way – any way – to change the outcome from last time. Right now, I’m a little concerned because I have to increase the cayenne pills – they only raised my blood pressure by 6 systolic points (on top) and did nothing for the diastolic (on the bottom). For those keeping track, my blood pressure was a whopping 86/58 today, changed a little from a month ago when it was 80/60 even. And last weekend when I was in a dead panic and freaking out? It was 93/65. (whoa.)

Wish me luck.