Expecting miracles

Some time ago, I picked up a little ebook Rebecca Messenger (previously Marina) called “30 Angel Steps”.  It’s a thirty-day journaling exercise that helps you clear out old energy, focus on what you want in life, foster gratitude, etc.  I’ve started it a couple of times, but I haven’t finished out a full round of it.  The last time, I just got distracted somewhere around day eight or nine.  This time, I’m giving myself permission to skip a few days at a time since my schedule has changed so drastically.

If you want to give it a shot yourself, you can download it here.  Her actual website is here, and when you subscribe, you get a ton more free stuff.

I’m up to Day Seven right now, and I thought maybe I’d use this as my space to do it.  (Mostly, it’s in my blue book, but I’m inspired to do it here today.  I’m not sure why.)

Here’s the angel message for today:

Dear Angels,

May I ask you about your relationship to our Heavenly Mother? Why does mankind not speak of her?

Centuries have passed and the glory of our Divine Mother, the Divine Feminine, has been hidden. Her glory and honor were stolen away by those in authority who found only the masculine served their purposes. Man always has been a creature of free will and chose long ago to turn his back on God, the Mother.

This has upset the balance of male-female relationships on every level. There is a great resurgence of the female energy in the Universe today. Not just in your world, but in many other worlds as well. The orphaned child cries for Mother and can no longer be denied.

This is truth. Raphael, Gabriel, Michael and Uriel

In my rapid-fire mind, this almost becomes a point of past concern, but at the same time, it’s very, very immediate.  As we sit and examine and consider just what the heck is causing this insanity in our world – economic depression, financial crisis, interpersonal warfare – the imbalance between the masculine (objective, power-striving, see-only) and the feminine (subjective, comfort-striving, feel-only) is definitely a prime culprit.  Of course, as I often state, correlation is not causation, so I have to ask myself, is the world in the shitter right now because of the imbalance between Shakti and Shekinah, or is has this imbalance between Shakti and Shekinah been created by something else that has then thrown the world into the shitter?

I know I have a hard time balancing the male-female aspects of myself sometimes, too, but more and more evidence suggests that that’s just the Aspie speaking.  I’m the queerest straight woman I know, which is saying something, but I’d rather be queer-yet-straight than be unnecessarily girlie and uncomfortable with both my appearance and the potential sexual response of others.  (But that’s a whole other story.)  A major part of me somewhat regrets the passage of attraction to women in general, but that could also just be because I haven’t met the right one.  😉

Digression, much?

Back to the angel days process…

One thing I appreciate about myself is: my willingness to state and defend my boundaries.  I was not always able to do this, and I’ve been bloody terrible about it in the past, but now, there’s a moment of freezing anxiety right before the words “No, thank you” come out, and then it’s gone.

One thing I appreciate about Joe is his willingness to be flexible and accommodating to his boys’ changing emotional needs.

I intend TO DO one thing at a time:

Morning: Check my comics, read PostSecret, drink some coffee

Afternoon:  Take Diana shopping so that she can have fabulous work clothes.

Evening: Snuggle the boys, make dinner, get everyone bathed, do some work, work some more.

“To Do” list for the Angels:

Dear Angels, While I am busy working or playing today, could you please do these things for me?  Thanks for all your help!  I love you!

1. Clear up the traffic so that we can get where we’re going safely.
2. Work on greasing the wheels for that project.
3. Bring in that windfall in a timely and helpful manner.

Today, I intend to thank…  Well, now, I can’t tell you this part, internet, because that would give some of it away.

I Am statements.  I am filled with gratitude and love with the potential of the next few months.  I am delighted with my healthy financial status.  I am so appreciative of the bountiful resources in my home and life.

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There’s a whole other section that you do before bed as well.  You make an “I forgive myself for” statement, an “I intend to forgive X for” statement, then a “What I loved about today” statement, and finally, this:

“Dear Creative Mind, I know you never sleep, so while I am resting, could you please work on …. ”

And these are the internal things you’d like to accomplish, such as receiving inspiration for your latest project or releasing old guilt, shame, or anger, or whatever.

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I find I can pull myself out of a funk more easily when I’m doing exercises like this.  I can pick up on when I’m feeling down “naturally” or when there’s something bothering me, and that’s not always easy for me.  More importantly, though (and I noticed this when I was doing these angel pages before), awesome little bits of opportunity and serendipity just pop up out of nowhere.  Avenues that I didn’t even realize existed appear and often make the going a little easier for any number of projects or intentions.  It’s kinda neat that way.

I’m not sure I want to get into the “what is an angel” discussion just yet, though.  Suffice it to say, I don’t think your idea of an angel matches my idea of an angel, because I am definitely not thinking of a bunch of fluffy-bunny flying hippies wandering around with harps and halos.

But, that’s another story.